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Sunday, June 12, 2011

What is it With Wearing Tights?

I might be wrong with posting this, but I have always wondered about heroes (or villains) in comic books. This is what I posted so many years ago on the subject, enjoy:

I don't understand some of what I see in comics. Don't get me wrong, I love comics to the point I collect them. What I am confused about is what they wear. Why on this green earth would someone want to wear spandex? I am speaking about the men at this time and frankly wind resistance doesn't cut it in my book to justify spandex. Cape..? Sure because it makes people look cool and is an easy accessory to make out of anything. A belt? Again, sure because it can hold different things. Masks are a no-brainer as to why someone would need one. What happens when a male superhero has a run-in with a woman superhero (I will get to the women soon) and he finds them attractive? Won't he end up showing off a bit more of his enthusiasm than he expected? What if he isn't THAT super? Loose clothes or at least boxer short in lieu of tighty-whiteys might make all the difference.

I will only touch on a character I might have the most issue with nowadays - Batman. The newest movies have tried to clean up the image of the caped crusader, but he might be the worst of the bunch as I think he is still in the closet. I wish I could remember the site that enlightened me so long ago about this hidden comic issue. You might try and do a search about 'comics gone bad' to find something on the topic. Back to what I was talking about. Batman wears tights with tighty whiteys (at least in the older comics, however the newer stuff gives him a cock piece which is defiantly an improvement), a utility belt - I guess to hold lipstick and such, and has a boy sidekick named Dick (short for Richard). Does any of that start to creep you out? Would that make him gay? Probably enough said about that particular crusader.

On to the women. Now skin tight things nowadays seem to be the norm when it comes to women's clothes, whether it goes on top or on bottom shoe horns might be in use to get dressed. Since this is not an issue in the real world, why are women superheroes dressed like supermodels from S.I. (sports illustrated)? Most of those models don't get the luxury of a full bathing suit and in some cases none at all! I, as a man, in no way am complaining about the various states of undress these poor women are in, however, half of the outfits given to women can't conceivably be useful in a fight. I am not saying that superheroes need to be fashion conscience, but it might help. Look at blankman for guidance!

In the end, a villain is going to fight dirty and what better way than to "expose" the opponent. I don't have an answer as to what a superhero should wear and will leave that up to TV shows related to what not to wear in super fights.